Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Public Speaking - 5 Tips for Getting Past the Ums And Ahs So Your Message Gets Through Loud & Clear

Public speaking is a powerful way for a solo professional or small business owner to market your business. So is presenting teleseminars. But what happens when you get stuck saying too many ums and ahs? Should you quit speaking in favor of other marketing methods? Here is an actual panicked message I received from a client followed by my response:

"Help! I just listened to myself speak on a recording and I had to stop it within a minute. The Ummmss and Ahhhss were horrendous -- 4 or 5 within that time frame! I plan to conduct many teleseminars and do public speaking and this just has to stop now."

Here are the top 5 most effective ways to get past the ums so your message comes through loud and clear:

Public Speaking - 5 Tips for Getting Past the Ums And Ahs So Your Message Gets Through Loud & Clear

1.Practice Out Loud

If you have a tendency to um and uh, the reason is often because you have an idea of what you want to say next, but you're not totally certain. So you insert a verbal filler to fill the space while you figure out the next word. Practicing out loud will get you to the point where you are completely comfortable with what you're saying, and therefore not have the need to um or uh (or at least greatly reduce it). If you plan on delivering the same material multiple times, you'll have to practice much less often as you gain more experience. If you can, record yourself while practicing so you can hear where you tend to um and uh the most.

2. Work From Detailed Notes and Not a Script

You'd think a word-for-word script would make it easier to stop the ums... and it can. But only if you have experience making a script sound natural. Otherwise you'll sound like you're reading. That's the opposite extreme of um and uh and sounds just as bad.

3. Be Aware

This is important. Many people have no idea they rely on verbal pauses or disfluencies until they hear themselves on a recording. The first step in overcoming from any addiction is to recognize and acknowledge you have one. And truly, people who say um and uh too much are addicted to their crutch words. Simply knowing you make this mistake will get you that much closer to stopping it.

4. Pay Attention

Listen to yourself as you present your speech or teleseminar. Do not think about anything else other than what you are saying, how you are saying it and your audience: IN THAT MOMENT. People will um and uh when they are distracted from their planned comments. For example, while on a teleseminar, shut down your email and other instant message features so you won't be visually interrupted (sometimes just the sound of those things can distract you enough to trigger an um.) Don't try to multi-task while leading a call or doing any type of presentation.

5. Connect with Your Audience

Here's a fun test to do the next time you're practicing with a friend: try to say um while making direct eye contact. It's nearly impossible. Why? Because you're having a conversation and um isn't a word. Um doesn't fit and doesn't make sense. While you're having a 1:1 conversation, you would likely avoid um and uh. Make your presentations much more conversational and your um and uh will disappear.

Is it crucial to get rid of all the ums and uhs? Experts disagree, but in my decades of experience as a speaker, audience member, and instructor, I haven't thought less of a speaker who had outstanding content with an occasional um or uh. You don't have to eliminate every um and uh when the rest of your message is solid. The time to get concerned is when your audience is listening for your next um instead of paying attention to your message. So fix what you can, give yourself a break, and um, keep on public speaking.

Public Speaking - 5 Tips for Getting Past the Ums And Ahs So Your Message Gets Through Loud & Clear
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Public speaking is one important way to increase your credibility as a small or home-based business owner. I invite you to discover how to Increase Business by Communicating Your Credibility now. You'll get this FREE e-course designed to help you attract more business and get more cash flow. Pick it up here: http://www.communicationtransformation.com/creating-credibility-ecourse.html

If you'd like to learn more about using public speaking to market your business, visit [http://www.CashInOnSpeaking.com] . You'll learn everything you need to know from how to choose a topic, how to best organize your speech to get instant results, and where to go to get booked to speak.

Felicia J. Slattery, M.A., M.Ad.Ed. is a communication consultant, speaker & coach specializing in training small and home-based business owners effective communication skills so they can see more cash flow now.

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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

How to Deal With Overbearing Personalities

Well all have those people in life who are just a little bit wearing on the spirit. You know who I mean. Their intentions are good, yet they always manage to stir things up. Sometimes it feels like you can't get anything done when they're around. They're criticizing, they're correcting, they're meddling. They're giving you all the reasons why you can't (when you know that you CAN!).

So how do you accomplish anything when overbearing friends and relatives are all up in your face and playing self-appointed cruise director or drill sergeant? How to maintain some semblance of self-respect and dignity around these people?

1. Erect boundaries. Although at times you feel like booting the overbearing person right out of your life... we all know that this is not always possible. Maybe they're your coworker, someone in your circle of friends... maybe it's your mother or your brother! The best thing to do in that case is to keep it on friendly terms but control the situation. Some ideas:

How to Deal With Overbearing Personalities

o Relocate. If you live with them... move out! It's not healthy to be around someone who is impeding your personal growth. No need to broach this topic in an accusatory way. Just explain that it's time to make a go of it on your own.

o Limit contact. If they're a frequent visitor... try to arrange it so they're only showing up X times in a month. Politely discourage drop-in visits and weekend stays if you can.

o Limit context. For example, if it's your coworker, keep it friendly at the office but don't go out of your way to hang with them at happy hour.

2. Let go of the guilt. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to like them. Many people suffer a great deal of unnecessary guilt over this. They think that because they feel annoyed, angered and hurt by overbearing friends and family members, that they're a bad person. Some reminders:

o Be choosy about what you share. You're not obliged to reveal everything about your life to this person. If your gut tells you that something is better left unsaid, then go with that thought.

o Counseling or coaching can help. If the overbearing person has had a hold on you for your whole life, you may harbor some hostility and resentment. An impartial outsider can often be hugely helpful when you just want to let go of these feelings and move forward with things.

o Different people can serve different purposes in your life. You may have another person you're close to who fulfills you in a different way than this person does. Know that this is perfectly healthy and a way to gain equilibrium in your relationships.

3. Try to put the overbearing personality to constructive use. Sometimes people who want to control everything just don't have enough going on in their own lives. If there's no getting rid of them, at least make their tendencies work for you. Give them a task or project to complete and it might just make them happier.

o Put them in charge. The truth is that most people are not great at leading others or organizing themselves. If there's an event that needs managing, why not put the overbearing person at the helm of the project?

o Offer up the floor. For the times that you're forced to be with them, it's worth keeping the peace by making the overbearing person the center of attention. At least you'll know that it will only be for a little while.

o Learn something from them. Get past the emotional turmoil they've caused you in the past. Recognize that everyone has something to share - even those whose delivery isn't always the smoothest. Who knows... if you listen, you might learn something!

4. Let them go. When all else fails, you can always say goodbye. Sometimes we're just better off losing the baggage that comes with one too many overbearing personalities in our lives. This is why people divorce, change friends, move far away from their families and search for new jobs. You may need to do some serious soul-searching before you make a decision. Know that this is a good and healthy process to put yourself through.

How to Deal With Overbearing Personalities
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Lifestyle Mentor, Personal Coach, Author, Educator, and Entrepreneur, David B. Bohl is the creator of Slow Down FAST. To learn more about this step-by-step strategy for Living YOUR Life YOUR way, and to sign up for his 9 FREE Tips for Finding Happiness in a Fast-Paced World, free teleseminars, free Special Report, free bi-monthly ezine and more, go to: http://www.SlowDownFAST.com

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Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Top EFT Tapping Tips & Affirmations

Ever since I've discovered the Emotional Freedom Techniques and experienced how life-changing they can be, I have had a passion for sharing them with others. I decided to learn from the best about the most effective ways to get results.

I've spent over a year learning about EFT; researching, listening to teleseminars, radio programs and reading articles. I paid close attention to everything and I took a lot of notes.

Now I'm sharing all of the most valuable EFT tapping tips that I have found for people who want to get the most out of using the Emotional Freedom Techniques on themselves. Here are a few:

Top EFT Tapping Tips & Affirmations

LEARN ABOUT THESE TIPS BEFORE YOU TAP:

1. Drink a full glass of water before tapping to stimulate and prepare your body's electrical system

2. You can tap down either side of your body with either or even both hands, or try alternating

3. Don't tap too hard. Use the same amount of pressure you would as if you were drumming your fingers on a table.

4. Take a slow deep breath after you complete a round of tapping to help move the energy through your body

5. Yawning during tapping is a sign that you are releasing energy, so let out the yawns and keep going

6. When you tap along with a group of others (either live or via recording), you will experience "borrowing benefits" whether or not you are the "primary tapper". So always tap along.

7. The key to tapping is to "tune in" and always ask yourself "How does this make me feel?" and that will be your guide.

It's actually common for people to have anxiety about not knowing what to say when they tap for themselves. The good news is - there isn't a wrong way to do EFT, you can't make a mistake or hurt yourself.

If you're having issues about knowing what to say, then choose from these powerful EFT affirmation phrases to help you move forward. These examples were drawn from actual EFT tutorials given by several of the top EFT practitioners in the field.

Here's a list of the most powerful EFT affirmation phrases to use while tapping:

I choose to...
I prefer to...
I intend to...
I decided to...
I embrace...
I love feeling...
And you can mix and match these positive affirmations with one of these many helpful phrases:

...love and accept myself anyway
...forgive myself for feeling...
...know I did the best that I could
...accept things just as they are
...be okay with where I am NOW
...feel safe
...be at peace
...feel powerful
...be inspired
...feel calm and confident
...trust my inner guidance
...release the need to...
...let go of the guilt, the shame, the resentment, the fear...

Some people get bored repeating the typical "I deeply and completely love and accept myself" affirmation. This mix of EFT phrases can help to stimulate a more specific reaction and better clearing. Play around with them and add your own words.

As always, to get the best results with EFT, tune into your feelings and intuition and let them guide you. Of course if you're still having trouble clearing your limiting beliefs on your own, then visit an EFT practitioner because this technique works for everyone and you just might need a little extra guidance.

Top EFT Tapping Tips & Affirmations
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Click here to visit my website. It's a practical guide to learning the Universal and Spiritual Laws that will empower your personal development growth. Explains Law Of Attraction, Energy, Emotional Freedom Techniques, Wealth Consciousness and more. Includes practical tips, techniques, articles, audio & video clips.

MORE EFT TAPPING TIPS

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